367: Perils of Babysitting
by celticskyedancer
Summary: Terra would be dead the moment she got back...unless Luneth and I do not last that long.


_A/N: Just a little 367 oneshot. Enjoy._

**Perils of Babysitting**

"Terra is going to be dead the moment she gets back."

"Unless we die first."

Two figures sat back-to-back in a small barn on two chairs, hands bound behind themselves. One was in his early twenties with extremely spiky blond hair and piercing mako blue eyes. The other was much younger in his middle teens with silver hair in a ponytail and violet eyes.

The older one sighed. "Are they still out there?"

"%$#."

"Luneth!"

The boy turned a deep shade of red. "Sorry, Cloud. But I don't see them."

"…What?"

"They're not outside guarding us."

"That's good," Cloud replied almost hesitantly. "Maybe they decided we're not going anywhere so…"

A loud whistle pierced the silence. Both seated figures looked up slowly, almost dreadfully, to the boy with shaggy brown hair standing on one of the overhead rafters. "You guys thirsty?"

"Actually yes…" Luneth started to say, but Cloud managed to elbow him hard in the ribs.

"We're fine," Cloud replied.

"That so?" another girl asked, dark curls framing her face. Six kids were visible of the rafters, and each had a simple metal bucket. "Well, we'll be considerate and give you something to drink anyways. "Now!"

The kids tossed their buckets, letting the icy water fall down onto the two unfortunate babysitters below them.

"That's it!" Cloud exclaimed. "I am punishing every single last one of you!"

"You'll have to get out of those ropes first!" the brown-haired boy taunted.

Cloud immediately remembered the kid's name. "Marco, I'll tell Terra this was all your idea."

"Who do you think she'll believe? Sweet little me or mean you?"

"This is ridiculous," Cloud muttered. "How long have we been here?"

"Half an hour."

"Your &%#$ing kidding me…sorry Luneth."

"I understand."

"It's only been a half an hour?"

"Yep."

"Damn those kids are good…I mean…"

"We were tied up ten minutes after Terra left. I think they know what they're doing."

Cloud sighed. "And I think Terra knew that this would happen because she sure left awful fast, giving us no time to back out. I thought she had babysitters for these kids."

"She said Duane and Katarin were taking their baby somewhere so she needed to find someone else," Luneth said. "She also said none of her friends here could do it."

"I think none of her friends here _wanted_ to do it."

Something semi-solid collided into the back of Cloud's head. He shivered as he felt something mushy travel down the back of his neck. "What and who hit me?"

"You got hit with a tomato!" a kid responded.

"It was Padraig," Luneth said, watching the redhead scurry away.

"How long is Terra going to be gone?" Cloud asked, trying to calculate how many more hours of hell he and his almost little brother would have to endure.

"She never said. I think she really likes that guy."

"Well I don't."

"Don't you have Tifa?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Terra is like my sister, and she's like your sister. It is perfectly natural for a brother to hate his sister's boyfriend."

"Yeah, I didn't like that Figaro guy either." Luneth cried out as a large handful of mud came flying through the open window of the barn and struck him in the face. "They threw mud at me!"

Cloud groaned. _Why had he agreed to do this?_

--

"_Cloud, I really need your and Luneth's help." Terra looked up at the chocobo-haired swordsman from under her green bangs. "It would really help me out."_

"_What's the problem?" Cloud asked._

_Terra fidgeted under her gaze. She always did that when she was extremely nervous. "Well, you know how I watch after all those kids in Mobliz?" she asked, turning her pleading, violet gaze on the ex-SOLDIER. "Well usually Duane and Katarin watch them while I'm gone, but they're taking a vacation right now with their new baby, and I have other plans for this afternoon so I was wondering…if you could, you know, babysit for me?"_

"_Don't you have friends in your world that could help?" Cloud asked at the same time Luneth exclaimed, "That sounds like fun!"_

_Terra resumed her nervous fidgeting. "I have been trying to get them, but they all have different engagements! I tried every single one of them, and no one is free today. They could do it tomorrow or yesterday, but not the day I _need_ them."_

_Cloud sighed. "You seriously have no one else?"_

"_Please!" Terra begged, seizing Cloud's hand. "It would really mean a lot to me; I haven't had time to myself in forever and you already look after those two kids, so…"_

"_Fine," Cloud responded._

"_Don't worry Cloud," Luneth said. "This will be fun!"_

_--_

It was most certainly not fun.

"Okay," Cloud said, "on the count of three, we both stand up and try to move. One…two…three." Both stood up, only to move in a complete 180.

"I don't think that worked," Luneth said.

"Obviously," Cloud replied. Thirty-seven minutes and counting. "New plan: can you cast a basic level one fire spell?"

"But we're too close," Luneth protested. "I'll hurt you and maybe me."

"I don't care. We've been tied up here for twenty-seven minutes, I am ready to be free and establish authority here. No more innocent children routine. That worked the first time, but it won't work again."

"Okay," Luneth said. "But don't blame me when one of us gets hurt." He narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Fire!" Nothing happened. "Cloud, I just remembered, Terra's world doesn't have any magic in it anymore."

"You don't say." Cloud resisted the urge to hit Luneth. It wasn't his fault that they were trapped in a barn, surrounded by at least twenty brats, tied to two chairs. But Luneth was definitely not helping.

"Please tell me that you have some sort of shuriken or knife or nail clipper on you," Cloud muttered.

"We don't exactly have nail clippers in my world…" Luneth trailed off.

"Luneth, focus," Cloud ordered. He was only a kid, but still… "Any ideas?"

"No. I mean, this stinks. I only tried to help Terra out because I like her so much, and now I'm trapped here with you." Luneth threw his hands up in exasperation before returning them behind his chair.

A vein on Cloud's temple twitched. "Luneth, have you been able to move your hands for the last twenty-seven minutes?"

"Cloud, we're bound to chairs, I cannot…" Luneth moved his hands to emphasize his point, only to stare at his hands in wonder. "Wow. I guess my wrists are so skinny that…" He looked back at Cloud to see that the blond warrior was looking over his shoulder in a mixture of humor, anger, and annoyance. "Don't say anything. I mean it."

"Just get me untied!"

Luneth hastily obliged, helping Cloud slip his wrists out of the rope bonds. The chocobo-haired warrior walked over to retrieve his fallen sword. "Now let's go greet the little kiddies."

"Cloud!" Luneth exclaimed. "They're kids. You can't just kill them."

"I don't plan on actually using it," Cloud protested. "But it's a good intimidation factor. That's exactly what these kids need." He opened the door to the outside. "All right, brats, it's time we learned who's in charge around…" Before Cloud had even finished speaking, a downpour of rocks were being pelted at himself at the silver-haired boy diving for cover behind him.

"What did we do to you!?" Luneth exclaimed.

The rocks stopped and a girl with her blond hair in pigtails stepped forward. Cloud thought her name was Mari, but he was not sure. At least ten pairs of hostile eyes were fixed on them. "Terra likes you too much."

"…What?" Cloud asked. "What does that have to do…"

"Terra was way too happy when you showed up," the brown-haired Marco yelled. "She likes you better than us!"

"Actually…" Cloud started to say.

"So what if she does?" Luneth shot back. Cloud kicked him. "Quiet!" the blond hissed. "You're not helping."

"You're trying to steal Terra away from us!" the dark-haired girl, Kiku or Jasmine or some flowery name, exclaimed.

Cloud took a step back in shock. "No, I am not trying to steal Terra from you. She's just my friend. Besides, I don't live anywhere near here so…"

"We're not going to let you take Terra," Marco finished. "Get them." The rainstorm of rocks continued, forcing Cloud and Luneth to retreat back into the barn.

"This is not how I imagined spending my Saturday," Cloud muttered almost vehemently. He glanced threw the open window of the barn, ducking as a stone the size of his fist flew through the window. "Are they trying to kill us?"

"We need a plan," Luneth said. "We need some way to combat them."

Both Cloud and Luneth looked around the room. There were several bales of hay in the loft, a broken plow leaning against one wall, and the two chairs resting in the middle of the room. "Wow, they know how to stock a prison," Luneth muttered absently.

Cloud groaned in frustration.

"What?" the boy protested. "They're good. You said so yourself."

"How about we go out the back way?" Cloud asked.

"What back way?"

Cloud sighed. "We need a distraction outside."

"How are we going to do that? Oh! I know! We summon Ifrit and…"

"No magic or summons in this world, remember?"

Luneth fell silent.

"Our best bet is to call one of the others in to help," Cloud said, not needing to specify who the others were.

"Let's get Cecil!" Luneth exclaimed.

"No."

"But he actually has a kid, so he should know what to do," Luneth explained.

"Exactly. He just had a kid. He's tired whenever he shows up for missions; the poor guy doesn't get enough sleep as it is. We shouldn't bug him. Besides, I'm taking care of _two_ kids much like the kids here, and I'm stuck in this situation."

Luneth's face lit up. "How about Bartz or Zidane? They're both practically kids so they could reason with the little tyrants outside."

"Luneth, you're younger than Bartz and Zidane, right?"

"Well yes…"

"So why don't you do that?"

"They won't listen to me. They tied us to a chair!"

"Then Bartz and Zidane wouldn't be any better?"

Luneth pouted. "I'm just not going to say anything anymore since obviously everything I say will get thrown back into my face."

"That's probably the wisest thing you've said all day," Cloud mumbled.

"Jerk!" Luneth said, punching Cloud several times in the arm before kicking him in the side.

"Okay, I'm sorry Luneth," Cloud protested, hiding the wince. That kick _hurt_. Since when did Luneth kick that hard? "I'm just frustrated, that's all."

Luneth turned away from Cloud, arms folded in front of his chest. The silence did not last very long. "What about the Warrior of Light?"

Cloud nearly choked. "The Warrior of Light?"

"Yeah, I mean I don't know if he's good with kids, but he could probably get this situation under control in a heartbeat. He would probably intimidate all those kids and…"

"Do you know what he would think if we contacted him to say that we are in trouble because we are trapped in a barn surrounded by a handful of _kids…_"

"Cloud, there are at least twenty of them. I don't think that counts as a handful."

Cloud resisted the urge to whack Luneth upside the head. "What would he think if he knew that we, two of Cosmos' strongest warriors, couldn't even take care of bunch of kids?"

Luneth's violet eyes widened slightly. "You're right. We'd lose our jobs in an instant."

"But you have the right idea," Cloud added. "We need someone who can bring order to this mess and intimidate the little brats. We need someone who can be rude, callous, and ruthless. We need…"

"Squall Leonhart," the two said together.

--

Squall scowled as he looked at the incoming call. He reluctantly flipped open his cell phone. "What is it Cloud?"

"I need your help"

"I'm busy."

"Listen…" Cloud's voice faded for a minute as he called something to someone else near him. "I am trapped in a barn in Mobliz, surrounded by twenty or thirty odd children trying to kill Luneth and me. I need you to come here and intimidate them."

"Let me get this straight: you want me to come all the way to Terra's world to help you because you are having issues _babysitting_? Don't you take care of two orphans? What's the problem?"

"You don't understand," Cloud said. "There are at least twenty of them, and they hate us."

"Cloud, I am swamped with at least two weeks of paperwork. I can't just drop in to solve your minor issue."

"Minor issue!" This indignant statement was followed by a rather loud curse.

"They just catapulted a large rock at us!" Luneth's slightly hysterical voice was obvious in the background.

Cloud's voice remained calm as ever. "Luneth, that's not a rock. That's a mini boulder."

Squall sighed. "A mini boulder? You've been spending way too much time with Tidus if you're exaggerating that much."

"Do I exaggerate?" Cloud retorted.

Squall's silence was his only answer.

"We're desperate."

"Who are you and what did you do with Cloud?"

"I'm serious."

"Cloud doesn't beg."

"These kids are _evil incarnate_."

"…Fine." Squall sounded extremely reluctant. He closed his phone angrily and looked up apologetically to the beautiful dark-haired angel in front of him.

"Do you really have to leave?" Rinoa asked, pouting. She looked so cute that he had to resist the urge to kiss her right then and there.

"Cloud can't handle a few kids," Squall muttered. He sighed. "My first day off in three weeks and I have to rescue his sorry ass from a bunch of brats."

Rinoa just chuckled. "He must be desperate if he's begging for your help."

"I was actually enjoying our date for once."

"You don't normally enjoy our dates."

"Usually they get interrupted…like today."

Rinoa just stood up and walked to his side of the table to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "Let's pay the bill and then you can go rescue your chocobo friend. You can make this up to me later, kay?"

Squall reluctantly nodded.

--

Quiet. After twenty minutes of rock pelting, jeering, yelling, insulting (Luneth did not help), and desperate pleading (Cloud hoped Luneth would never bring that degrading incident up after this was done), there was dead silence.

Both Cosmos Warriors reluctantly looked out the window. Squall was busy ordering the kids around, stormy eyes very angry. The children shied away from him, clearly terrified.

Luneth rushed out the door, followed shortly by Cloud.

"You owe me, Strife," Squall said simply, gunblade casually resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you so much!" Luneth exclaimed, rushing to give Squall a hug. Almost immediately he realized _who_ he was hugging and let go instantly. "Sorry…" he muttered.

"You couldn't handle these kids?" Squall asked, glancing at the now large group of well-behaved children.

"No, you have no idea what they are capable of," Cloud said.

"They're a bunch of brats."

"Don't let Terra here you say that about her kids."

"Figures _her_ kids would misbehave."

--

"You know you probably shouldn't have insulted Terra."

"Shut up."

Cloud and Squall now occupied the two chairs, bound together with more rope while Luneth hung from an overhead beam. In less than a minute, the children had overpowered them, once again imprisoning them in the barn.

"Hey Luneth, any chance your skinny wrists will get us out of this situation?" Cloud asked.

"Nope, they tied me up good," Luneth said. "I gotta learn from these guys."

"Luneth!"

"Sorry." The boy sighed. "We should have just called the Warrior of Light."

"And tell him we've been imprisoned by a group of children."

"We're outnumbered ten to one at least. He'd understand."

"You'd lose your jobs in an instant," Squall muttered.

"Hey, we got you out of doing paperwork. Be grateful."

"I was enjoying a _very_ nice lunch with Rinoa."

"What! You were just going to leave us to die because you had a date with your girlfriend?" Luneth exclaimed.

"I haven't had a day off in three weeks. I haven't had any time to spend with her."

"You're really crazy about her aren't you?" Luneth asked with a small smirk.

"This conversation is not helping our situation at all," Cloud said. "Focus."

"Now do you believe us that these kids are evil?" Luneth asked Squall.

"We need to get out of here," Cloud said.

"Working on it," Squall said. "Okay, Luneth you cast Fire…"

"There's no more magic in Terra's world anymore," Luneth said.

"And you have no shuriken or knives or even a nail clipper?" the SeeD asked.

"We don't exactly have the nail clippers like you guys have in our world."

"Luneth, focus," Cloud reminded him, having a strange sense of déjà vu.

"Right," the silver-haired boy said. "Sorry."

"This is all Terra's new boyfriend's fault," Cloud muttered.

"She has a boyfriend now?" Squall asked.

"Yes, a certain _Edgar_."

"You sound jealous."

"What! I'm not jealous. Terra's my sister practically; I just don't like that guy."

"I don't like him either," Luneth added.

"Listen," Cloud said suddenly.

"Cloud, I don't hear anything," Squall replied.

"Exactly, the kids stopped talking."

"So?"

The door to the barn swung open. Two figures rushed in, one short and blond with a tail, the other taller and a brunette. "We're here to rescue you!" the brunette exclaimed.

"Thank you!" Luneth exclaimed. "You don't know how glad I am to see you."

The tailed thief quickly cut all the bonds holding them down, letting Luneth fall unceremoniously to the floor. "Actually we're just here for Squall since you and Cloud have to stay here to watch the kids."

"What?" Cloud asked, voice dangerously low.

"We're just following orders," Bartz replied.

"Whose orders?" Cloud asked.

"Rinoa's," Bartz said. "She's outside distracting the kids."

"Rinoa?" Luneth asked. "She can't travel between worlds. Only Cosmos Warriors can."

"Squall takes Rinoa to Midgar all the time," Bartz replied.

"No time to explain," Zidane replied, grabbing one of Squall's hands. He proceeded to attempt to drag the scarred brunette out the door.

A little kid with red hair slipped inside, eyes growing wide.

"Padraig, if you…" Cloud started to say.

"They're trying to escape!" he yelled, rushing outside to warn his friends.

Cloud cursed.

"Rinoa, distraction time is over!" Bartz yelled, leaping out the window. "It's time for desperate measures."

"Wait," Cloud started to say.

"This is your problem," Squall replied, following Zidane and Bartz outside.

Cloud and Luneth rushed after them, only to be herded back inside the barn by the barrage of rocks and rotten vegetables.

"These kids are evil!" Luneth exclaimed.

"Tell me something I don't know," Cloud said.

"They won't really leave us," Luneth said even though he sounded extremely unsure.

"I believe they just did," Cloud said, risking a glance out the window, getting nailed in the forehead by a small but sharp pebble. "Ow."

"We have to fight dirty," Luneth said. "No more Mr. Nice Cosmos Warriors. We have to fight fire with fire. As soon as we leave this barn, we have to hit them with everything we got."

"Which would be?"

"I'm sure we can find some suitable ammo in here," Luneth replied.

Cloud suddenly got an evil grin as he stared at the silver-haired boy intently.

"What?" Luneth asked nervously.

--

Minutes later the barn door flied open as Cloud rushed outside; as soon as the expected onrush of rocks, vegetables, fruit, etc. arrived, he flung Luneth toward the children, taking out six in one blow. He grabbed a rock off the ground, flinging it back at the kids. Soon an all out war erupted between the kids and Cloud and Luneth, each person desperately trying to overpower the others. However, soon the children were once again overpowering their babysitters, forcing Cloud and Luneth back toward the barn. However, an airship landing on the outskirts of the village caught everyone's attention. "Terra!" the children exclaimed, dropping their projectiles and rushing over to greet her.

She walked off accompanied by the blond Edgar. The flirtatious prince said something to make her blush before bowing elegantly and kissing her hand. He waved gallantly at her before boarding the airship. Terra turned to wave at him as he left.

Cloud and Luneth were not oblivious to the intense loathing found in the children's eyes.

Terra turned around with a smile. "How was everybody?" she asked with a grin, giving out as many hugs as possible. "Marco, Padraig, Mari, Ayame (dark-haired girl)."

"We missed you so much Terra," Marco chimed. "And we were really good just like you told us to be."

"That's good," Terra said.

The brown-haired boy shot Cloud a look that said "told you so."

She walked over to Cloud and Luneth. "Thanks so much for babysitting," she said, giving them each a big hug. "It means so much to me."

Both were very consciously aware of the angry eyes fixed on them.

"Yeah, well, don't expect it much," Cloud muttered.

Another girl whom Cloud had no idea what her name was walked up to Terra and hugged her leg. "We really liked them. Can they come back?"

Cloud and Luneth tensed, looking at the innocently evil faces on the children.

"I think that can be arranged," Terra said with a sweet grin toward Cloud and Luneth. "As long as you two don't mind."

"Of course not," Luneth said with a smile.

Terra's presence was the only thing saving Luneth from the full brunt of Cloud's Omnislash. He knew how fiercely overprotective of Luneth the girl was.

Her face lit up in a glorious smile. "Well then maybe next Friday?"

"Sure," Cloud mumbled, head downcast.

"It will be so much fun," Marco said, coming up to Cloud. He subtly slipped a piece of paper into Cloud's hand, keeping his smile innocent. Cloud raised his eyebrows slightly at the exchange but said nothing.

"Then I guess I'll see you later," Terra called as Cloud and Luneth turned to leave. They could use their crystals to traverse between the worlds, but they were not about to leave among all the children.

As soon as they were a ways away from Mobliz, Luneth turned toward Cloud expectantly. "What did Marco give you?"

Cloud unfurled the paper and read it out loud:

_We promise to leave you alone next time if you help us create a plan to take down Edgar._

Cloud and Luneth exchanged glances and smiled. Maybe next time wouldn't be so bad after all. In fact, it might be quite fun.

_A/N: Yes, my first completed story. (Only a simple oneshot). There is no planned sequel to this, just use your imagination to think about what the kids plot. Please review, you know you want to._


End file.
